Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
