Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
