she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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