My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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