You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Everclear isn't food dammit
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
