Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
