Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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