tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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