just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
