Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Green mimosas i think yes
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
