I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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