i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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