i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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