On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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