dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
