My friends, they love my intelligence
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
