I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
