kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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