kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
