Did you just see the Batmobile???
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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