I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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