I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
