STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
