I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
