woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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