Do you still have your period?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
