a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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