Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize