and you said cock pushups were impossible
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
