Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
