that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
