he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
