If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
