my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
