the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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