Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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