So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
there is puke in my bra ... again
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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