Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
