O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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