I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
