Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
