After last night, I could never be a politician.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
