Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
