Dude my mom stole all your condoms
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
