you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
