Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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