Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
