There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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