i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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