OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So many bounce houses so little time
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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