I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
