I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
