he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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