So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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