Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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