I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
