now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
