I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
