She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
