Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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