If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
