dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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