I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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