i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
