What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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