dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
