did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
