Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
