How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
