I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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