I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
