you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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