I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
