Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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